Finding Your X-Factor: What Others See That You Might Miss
Have you ever sat back and thought, What am I actually good at? Not the kind of skills you list on a resume, but the natural talents—the things you do so effortlessly you barely notice them?
That question found me in a career crossroads, somewhere between leaving the bank (a previous workplace I really loathed) and stepping into disability employment – an awesome workplace! At the time of leaving the bank, I was sure I was only suited for another job in banking. It was all I knew. That kind of thinking had me spiralling—anxious, boxed in, and dreading the idea of going back to a workplace I didn’t enjoy.
Then I met a career coach who flipped my perspective. She reminded me of something powerful: soft skills are transferable, and they’re exactly what employers want—especially in people-facing roles like those in schools.
The One-Question Activity That Changed Everything
The coach gave me a simple but confronting task: ask five people I knew and trusted to answer this one question:
“What do you think are my natural talents?”
Let me be honest—it made me squirm. The idea of asking friends or family felt awkward. Would they think I was fishing for compliments? What if they couldn’t think of anything?
But she assured me it wasn’t about vanity—it was about insight. She said, “The people who know and like you will have no trouble identifying your strengths. In fact, you might discover skills you didn’t even realise you had.”
So I did it. I chose five people who knew me well and I framed the request carefully, drawing on advice I’d been given. If you’re not sure how to ask without sounding like you’re fishing for compliments, try something like:
“I’m reading a great blog to help me improve my professional skills, and the author suggests I’ll benefit from learning how others perceive me. I only need you to answer one question. I chose you because I trust your perspective.”
What I got back floored me. Not just because it was kind—but because it was clear, consistent, and absolutely relevant to every workplace I’d ever considered too ‘different’ for my skill set.
Why This Matters in Schools
In a school environment, your ‘customers’ are students, parents, and stakeholders. Whether you’re an Education Support Officer or a Teacher—you are making impressions every single day.
But how often do you stop to think about how you’re being perceived?
As school staff, we’re quick to reflect on student outcomes, parent feedback, or performance reviews. But rarely do we take the time to understand what people see in us beyond the job description.
Your X-Factor—that special something others experience when interacting with you—often isn’t what you think it is. That’s why this activity is so valuable. It shows you the difference between how you see yourself, and how others experience you.
And here’s the gold: once you know what your X-Factor is, you can build on it. Own it. Amplify it.
What School Staff Might Discover
When we introduce this kind of reflection in training sessions, school staff often gain a fresh perspective on the impact they have. Consider these possibilities:
- A front office admin might learn her calm presence helps parents feel instantly at ease
- An integration aide could discover their humour makes tough days more manageable for colleagues
- A facilities manager might be recognised as “the fixer”—quietly reliable and always kind
In each case, the person may not have recognised these as strengths—because they were just “being themselves.” That’s the point. Your X-Factor isn’t forced—it’s natural. You just haven’t named it yet.
How to Get Started
- Choose your five: Pick a mix—colleagues, friends, maybe a family member. People who’ve seen you in different situations.
- Ask the question: Frame it genuinely. Let them know it’s for personal development, not flattery.
- Look for patterns: If three out of five say you’re “great at calming people down,” that’s not a coincidence—it’s a strength.
- Reflect and record: What did you learn? What surprised you? How might this X-Factor show up in your daily school work?
Final Thoughts
We’re often our own harshest critics. But your customers—your students, parents, and colleagues—are seeing strengths you’ve probably overlooked.
So, go ahead. Ask the question. Embrace the awkward. You might just uncover a part of your professional self you didn’t know was quietly working wonders.
Want to go deeper?
At Just For Schools, we help school staff uncover and amplify their natural talents through practical, empowering training sessions. From Unleash Your Potential to Know Your Strengths, our programs are designed to build confidence and connection.
Contact us today to learn more and find the right session for your team.